Klaus - On The Cusp Of Total Insanity

Notes From The Padded Cell - 1st September 2010

Sir,

Good to have made contact again......wot a summer we have had... most of it comical, whichever side on the fence u are sitting (is it possible to sit on the side of a fence ? Never mind)

I thought the World Cup was absolutely hilarious..... one of the great quiz questions in the future will be: who was the only undefeated team ? A bit like 1974 when it was Scotland, with the difference that Kiwis are more easily understood...

I watched the great English Disaster in a place call Gyor in Hungary...for whatever reason another CFC-supporting lunatic and I decided to cycle from Vienna to Budapest...I tell u I could not sit down for about a week afterwards...

With 100 k's under our belt we arrived a quarter of an hour before kickof in Gyor. Within five minutes yours truly managed to find a traditional Hungarian eatery called the John Bull English Pub, where we proceeded to watch the game while refuelling on Mexican beer. We were surrounded by one English bloke called Gav from Harlow...I found it difficult not to laugh. Adolf Blatter's new rule, that the ball has to be in the net and not just across the line, undid you... Gav was remarkably stoical considering all the crap going down on the box, until i realised he was a Spurs supporter, so no real surprise there.... he's obviously used to crap.

Spurs are just so funny, but u have to admire their fans. Sometime in the early sixties some innocent little boys were taken to Three Point Lane by their idiot dads and told "let's watch the greatest team on earth". The same thing has been happening for 45 years, no wonder the whole of north east London is full of mentally, emotionionally and psychologically-challenged wankers who don't trust anybody, particularly their fathers. But like the abused, they perpetrate the same abuse to their children. I am sure that Childline has been inundated for years by little boys phoning up and asking Auntie Esther: "why is my father such a cunt thatr he takes me to see a crap team when we could be going to the Bridge ??", to which she obviously replied: "this has got nothing to do with us.... SAUSAGES !"

The main sufferer during the World Cup, however, was my 8 year old son. Being half German and half Italian, living in Austria and a Chelsea and therefore England supporter, he kept hanging flags outside the house... First English, then Italian, and when Germany lost their game against Serbia he nearly gave up on the lot....

The main reason Germany did so well was obviously that Mr Balloks wasn't in the squad. He did resurface this weekend for Bayer Leverkusen and managed not only to lose six three at home to Borussia Moenchengladbach but was also substituted after 60 minutes. Not a great loss to Chelsea..

One comment on your site on which I have to take exception, however, is Dr Les' unfair treatment of the great Emile Heskey. OK, he didn't have a great World Cup, but then neither did Messi or Ronaldo. But for Heskey to come back, put on a dress and then immediately win Wimbledon is saying something about the bloke...

As far as CFC transfer dealings are concerned I agree with most of the drivel on your site:

Joe Cole... crap, about as deadly as Jesper....

Deco... can't remember him ever playing

Belletti... I actually liked him, at least he had a fucking rocket on him

Carvhalo.. way past his bedtime

Yours,
Klaus.

Nice one, K-man. My advice is to stay away from bicycles as they tend to muffle one's speech...
Priesty.
Is Klaus a nut job, or do you agree with every word ? Tell him what YOU think.

**Notes From The Padded Cell - 1st September 2010**
Sir, Good to have made contact again......wot a summer we have had... most of it comical, whichever side on the fence u are sitting (is it possible to sit on the side of a fence ? Never mind) I thought the World Cup was absolutely hilarious..... one of the great quiz questions in the future will be: who was the only undefeated team ? A bit like 1974 when it was Scotland, with the difference that Kiwis are more easily understood... I watched the great English Disaster in a place call Gyor in Hungary...for whatever reason another CFC-supporting lunatic and I decided to cycle from Vienna to Budapest...I tell u I could not sit down for about a week afterwards... With 100 k's under our belt we arrived a quarter of an hour before kickof in Gyor. Within five minutes yours truly managed to find a traditional Hungarian eatery called the John Bull English Pub, where we proceeded to watch the game while refuelling on Mexican beer. We were surrounded by one English bloke called Gav from Harlow...I found it difficult not to laugh. Adolf Blatter's new rule, that the ball has to be in the net and not just across the line, undid you... Gav was remarkably stoical considering all the crap going down on the box, until i realised he was a Spurs supporter, so no real surprise there.... he's obviously used to crap. Spurs are just so funny, but u have to admire their fans. Sometime in the early sixties some innocent little boys were taken to Three Point Lane by their idiot dads and told "let's watch the greatest team on earth". The same thing has been happening for 45 years, no wonder the whole of north east London is full of mentally, emotionionally and psychologically-challenged wankers who don't trust anybody, particularly their fathers. But like the abused, they perpetrate the same abuse to their children. I am sure that Childline has been inundated for years by little boys phoning up and asking Auntie Esther: "why is my father such a cunt thatr he takes me to see a crap team when we could be going to the Bridge ??", to which she obviously replied: "this has got nothing to do with us.... SAUSAGES !" The main sufferer during the World Cup, however, was my 8 year old son. Being half German and half Italian, living in Austria and a Chelsea and therefore England supporter, he kept hanging flags outside the house... First English, then Italian, and when Germany lost their game against Serbia he nearly gave up on the lot.... The main reason Germany did so well was obviously that Mr Balloks wasn't in the squad. He did resurface this weekend for Bayer Leverkusen and managed not only to lose six three at home to Borussia Moenchengladbach but was also substituted after 60 minutes. Not a great loss to Chelsea.. One comment on your site on which I have to take exception, however, is Dr Les' unfair treatment of the great Emile Heskey. OK, he didn't have a great World Cup, but then neither did Messi or Ronaldo. But for Heskey to come back, put on a dress and then immediately win Wimbledon is saying something about the bloke... As far as CFC transfer dealings are concerned I agree with most of the drivel on your site: Joe Cole... crap, about as deadly as Jesper.... Deco... can't remember him ever playing Belletti... I actually liked him, at least he had a fucking rocket on him Carvhalo.. way past his bedtime Yours, Klaus. Nice one, K-man. My advice is to stay away from bicycles as they tend to muffle one's speech... Priesty. Is Klaus a nut job, or do you agree with every word ? Tell him what YOU think.

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